A MOST HUMBLE WELCOMING TO THE:-
british
book-sniffing enthusiast's
homepage
10 years ago, an anti-drugs unit were flicking through books for a high they didn't expect. These sniffers promptly discovered the ultimate high from some crusty books. Today, still appealing to the Government, they survive as sniffers of pages. If you have a problem, if you can't handle it, and the NHS won't help...
Maybe you should consider..
BOOK SNIFFING!
Jolly-ho! Welcome fellow book-sniffers my name is Benny, founder of this site. We are an up and coming (fringe) group who find pleasure only by inhaling books. My habit first started when I was ten I think, sniffing Rupert annuals, newspapers, horse and hound magazines and religious pamphlets. However, I had soon moved on to more harder books, finding satisfactory aromas could only truly be found in crusty books from many centuries ago.
Now, years later my collection has reached monumental proportions. Ahh, I'm glad you're still here; good, pay attention BELIEVER...
Hiydeho! I my friends, am Bertie, and I co-founded the art of book-sniffing. I am here to inform you all of the benefits of sniffing pages. It has been proven that book sniffing does indeed improve your life expectancy. I have been book-sniffing since I was old enough to play a spot of croquet - Tallyho! It must have started with the likes of Dandy comics and story books from days gone by. It started to become apparent I was a book-sniffer when I found myself subconsciously taking in deep sniffs of school text books, and not worrying who might be watching, just as long as I got the full extent of the aroma.
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF BOOK-SNIFFING AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY?
Maybe you haven't realised it yet, but you too could be one of us. Without realising, you cannot resist but to sniff every pamphlet that comes through your letterbox. Yes, my friends, so you also find many benefits to your new-found euphoria. Now I feel I must warn you of the dangers involved. Although it may seem like harmless fun, book-sniffing is a serious matter and may lead to drowsiness, and loss of balance. And in the worst-case scenario - loss of consciousness! But don't let this put you off my friends. What ho!
Have you ever experienced the ultimate dizzying euphoria from the spines of only the oldest of medieval volumes? Well you have only to try it for yourself (although we recommend that you start off with the fresher book and then move on to more overwhelming tomes) The effects of which have never been understood by the medical profession. It's high time we got shot of the damn NHS! Let us all rally around for the crustiest books we can find and use that as a valid form of medication instead.
WARNING: Please do not attempt to book-sniff whilst taking medication. In the event of an over-sniff please seek medical advice from your GP immediately!
E-mail us at: booksniffersanon@yahoo.co.uk
Homepage, Tips, Friend or Foe, Links, E-mail, Message Board, View Guestbook, Quest, Scratch and Sniff Game
Now for the smallprint: Please Do not inform the authorities about the content of this website! We do not accept any responsibility for any drowsiness, loss of balance or worse case scenario...consciousness! Any damage caused to your eyesight due to the bright spanking colours used on this web page is purely your own fault. It is hopefully the worst colour scheme on the net. Copyright of any sources used are owned by Bertie and Benny, all rights preserved (in a jam jar). Copyright 2002. If you wish to use any of them - YOU CAN'T THEY'RE OURS - P**S OFF! Why the hell are you reading all this crap anyway? No-one reads the smallprint, go get a life! Why are you STILL reading! more to the point why is the small print actually here for you to read. Once again, I repeat - do not inform the authorities! Are you still here you weirdo! Hop it! Go and check out the rest of this site. And remember, the tree is our friend, don't trust axemen, or librarians! Now go and do some book-sniffing! SNIFF OFF!